Serendipity

So as not to offend the nonreligious or not so spiritual of you--or, really, not to scare the rest of you and send my children off on a search for a loony bin to put me in (like they haven't thought of that before!), I will call the amazing coincident-like experiences I tend to have "serendipity." This word doesn't really suit me because I don't believe in chance, or I at least choose not to believe that things happen by chance, I will use it anyway for convenience.

Over the past four or so years, my life has had more than its fair share of serendipity. Lately this has been in the form of speaking opportunities with various groups and organizations--don't be overly impressed, these are local things and, while important nonetheless, they will not make me famous! So, as I've been pondering what to say at each of these opportunities, I've been thinking a lot about how some things have come about and what they have meant to me in my life. (This is another thing you begin to do as you get older....ponder the meaning of your life--or maybe try to ascribe meaning to your life!)

One incident that has taken on a new meaning to me is an encounter I had with a neighbor, also a nurse. I was watching TV with my husband one night and I kept hearing something hitting the window behind me. I looked out, but couldn't see anything. Steve said he would take the dog out for her last potty break of the night and see if there was anything out there that could be hitting the window. Turns out it was our downstairs neighbor, Donna. Donna is also a nurse and we have often enjoyed sharing "war" stories about our careers. Donna had found herself locked out of her condo because her patio door had closed and locked behind her, and being on the first floor, they had a privacy fence with a padlocked gate due to recent break ins in the neighborhood. So....she was trapped on her patio. This was in the fall and the nights were getting kind of chilly, so she wan't happy with the idea that she might be there awhile before someone came along to rescue her! Steve got to be her knight in shining armor (more likely her knight in faded jeans and a sweatshirt) and let her back into her condo.

We all had a good laugh over the incident and then I forgot about it. A week or so later, Donna appeared at our door bearing a bottle of wine to thank us for the rescue. We spent the evening on our balcony drinking wine and talking. Once that talk turned toward our common interest of nursing, Steve excused himself. On this particular night, Donna was talking about her recent resignation from the place she had worked for many years. Her husband had started a new business venture which was taking them too far from the area to continue living here and they were in the process of moving and selling their condo--much to our dismay!

For the two of you who regularly follow this blog....you might recall that I, too, had resigned from a job that I was at for several years, and while I seldom share the details of that, it was an extremely hurtful experience. Suffice it to say that for those who spend their careers easing the pain of others, we often inflict so much of it on each other. Anyway, as it turns out, Donna had had a similar experience to mine with her resignation. We had a very frank discussion about our hurt and it was cathartic for both of us. We ended the evening with hugs and "air" kisses and with the promise to "do this again soon."

A couple of weeks after this conversation I learned that Donna had become quite ill and was in intensive care with a terrible case of pneumonia. In a very short time, the pneumonia won and claimed her life. Now Donna and I weren't best friends, but we did share a love of nursing and the bond that such things bring, so her death hit me harder than it might have if she had just been a passing acquaintance. That, and the fact that she was just truly a warm, compassionate person who genuinely cared about people.

Serendipity....Had Donna not locked herself out of her condo, we might never have shared this conversation. It was a conversation that went a long way toward healing my heart, and I hope it did the same for her. I think we always have a lesson to learn from the things life throws at us. Often from a place of great heartache can come great healing and success. If I hadn't experienced the heartache of betrayal and mistreatment when I left a job I had loved, I might not have been in the right place emotionally to experience Rwanda in the way that I did. I wish I could say that the heartache is gone, but it is, after all, heartache and it will have to heal in its own time. But I am thankful that from the experience, I was taken to a place that had suffered unimaginable heartache and I met people who have worked through that heartache to come to a place of healing and who face a brighter future because of the lessons learned. Serendipity.....