Taking Care of Business

Some of life's lessons are hard to learn. I have spent the past five years traveling to Rwanda and teaching students and healthcare workers about the Helping Babies Breathe Program among other things. It's been great, and just when things are coming together and our work is being recognized by various people and groups in Rwanda......I realize that I have to "pay the piper" before I can responsibly return to the country I love. Translated that means I have to pay off the debt I've incurred with all of this travel before I can go again! Sometimes reality SUCKS!

For those who don't already know this, I use my own personal funds to travel to Rwanda. Donations to the 501c3, One Good Deed, are all used for our projects and to help the people we serve. I truly do mean ALL of the donations. We no longer have a business phone, most of our correspondence is done via email, and so we have no overhead costs any longer. That is important to us. We don't want to become one of those "non-profit" organizations that spend the majority of their donations on administrative costs, travel, etc., taking away from the amount available for their causes. When people volunteer to travel with us, they too are paying their own expenses. It's quite a commitment, and one that we appreciate.

Sooooo, now it's time for me to pay off my debt before I begin again. I hope this will be a task I can accomplish this year so we can make plans for another trip in early 2014....we'll see. In the meantime, I am pursuing my Master's degree in Nursing Education. I hope this will enable me to include nursing students in our work in a way that will earn them college credit. Again, we'll see.

Just because I've been temporarily sidelined from Rwanda doesn't mean we aren't busy, though! We are still working with people who are continuing what we started in Rwanda, and we've been dabbling in projects closer to home.

I posted about a baby I had taken care of during her short life. Her name was Helena and she was an amazing girl--so is her mom. Helena's mom is the best advocate I have ever seen. When Helena needed a PDA ligation (a kind of heart surgery common to premature infants), she had to be transferred to another hospital. Helena's mom, Pam, was furious! While this surgery can normally be done at our facility, it just happened that the surgeon who performs it had been deployed to Afghanistan. Pam made phone calls and pursued an alternative solution to the situation. While it was too late to prevent Helena's transfer, Pam was responsible for getting another surgeon to become "recertified" to perform this surgery at our facility. She was an inspiration to us all, as was Helena. Because of them, no baby will have to travel to another hospital for this surgery again. Pam called it "Helena's Mission."

During Helena's time with us, Pam read a book to her most days called "Katy No Pocket." This book was special to Pam because she said it reminded her of her situation. Katy is a kangaroo who doesn't have a pouch so she can't carry her baby. Pam felt like she had no "pouch" since Helena was born early. This book reminded her of "kangaroo care" which is a form of holding for mothers and fathers of premature infants. Because of Helena, we at One Good Deed are working on buying multiple copies of the book Katy No Pocket for distribution in memory of Helena to all mothers of babies born before 30 weeks gestation in the unit where she was a patient.

At the end of the book there is a picture of Katy the kangaroo with her new "pouch" and in it she is carrying all of the other animal babies she met along her journey to find a pouch. When I look at that picture, I think of Pam. Pam, in her own way, is carrying all of the babies who need this surgery because they will no longer have to go to another facility. We think she has made the lives of countless infants and their families a little better.....One Good Deed at a time!

Lessons in Life and Loss

In March I asked for prayers for "my girl" who was actually my primary patient. She was taken to a children's hospital for advanced treatment and people were praying unceasingly for this baby and her family. In my line of work you'd think I would get used to the fact that not every patient makes it, but I don't. My girl was taken from us in mid-March right before I was scheduled to leave for a Nurse in Washington Internship (NIWI) conference. My heart was broken.....for her, for her family, and just in general at the unfairness of a life lost so early. In my heart of hearts I knew she would not be long for this world. She was an "old soul." To me, people who are old souls are often here to teach us a lesson, and once their purpose is served they are gone. So it was, I think, with this little one. She taught me, among other things, that life is fragile and certainly not to be taken for granted. That we all have only a short amount of time and we should make the most of it. We should use the abilities and gifts we've been given to the best possible advantage to make a difference, if not in the world, at least in the life of another.

Everybody has a purpose and a mission. I think this little girl's purpose was to remind an entire unit of why we do what we do everyday and to remember that every patient and family are special and deserve the very best we have to offer. I think she also brought us together as a whole....reminding us that we are a team and that we laugh and have fun as a team, but also that we pull together as a team in those tough times to break out every ounce of experience and ability we have to give our patients our best....always.

So, it was with a very heavy heart that I left for Washington DC on March 16 to attend the Nurse in Washington Internship. I had been given this incredible opportunity by the National Association of Neonatal Nurses (NANN), and had been excited about it for weeks but the loss of this child had broken my heart and nothing could repair it. I took her with me in thought, and once there, she became "my story." As we were instructed on how to approach our members of Congress with our "asks," they told us to tell a story that would be remembered. As a representative of NANN, I was asking for legislation related to prematurity and to newborn screening. I told "my story" and I think it was made more powerful and memorable because my emotion was still raw from the loss. I hope it made a difference to my senators and representative, and I hope they will think of "my girl" every time a piece of legislation crosses their desk that involves the health and welfare of our tiniest constituents.

Angst over a BUDGET exercise (in futility)

I've had a busy few weeks lately. We've been crazy busy at work with census high and getting ready for the move to our new unit. I've also been busy with school.....the class I've been working on is Health Finance and Organization and I have to make a budget for a health promotion activity. Really?!? Apparently these people do not know me. I am not exactly well-versed in budgeting! Spending, now there's a topic I have mastered! Sigh.

This class is worth one credit.....I have spent an eternity on it. Finally called the instructor and told her I was struggling with this whole budget thing. I've lived in the non-profit world for too long.....I'm a master at finding ways around spending money.....unless, of course, it's my own--then I overspend......Sigh. She laughed at me. Told me to get over it....it's an exercise to see if I understand the concept.....Hello!!!!! Was she not listening to me?!? I do get it, I really do. Fixed expenses are the ones we're forced to pay if we want life to continue as we know it.....mortgage/rent, condo association dues; variable expenses are the ones that may still come every month, but may not be the same amount: food, clothing (always high--especially if shoes are involved), utilities (also high with this endless winter we are having.....well, and my perpetual personal summer....sigh); controllable expenses (here's where I have a problem.....I can't control my spending--maybe that's not the same?) are ones you determine how much you'll spend (until it's gone, duh!); uncontrollable expenses (shoes? bags?--not sure); and unrecoverable expenses which I think, really, are all of them because once the money's gone....it's GONE! Sooooo, I finally said "screw it" and just made something up. Big surprise....I ended up in the hole. Sigh. I talked to my student mentor about it and told her I ended up in the hole. You know, you'd think I would be used to getting laughed at over a budget by now, but..... She did make a good point....I can make up the numbers, so I just need to add to the grant money for my project. Wouldn't it be great if it really worked that way?!?......"Honey, I'm sorry I bought yet another pair of shoes, but I just added a bigger amount to the checking account to cover it. What? No, I didn't add money.....I just increased the amount!"

Counting on the Power of Prayer!

In the "wee" hours of the morning today I watched as a fragile little girl was loaded into a transport isolette to begin the journey of her life. She has a tough road ahead. I also watched as her parents' hearts broke. Nurses know that we often find ourselves drawn into the lives of our patients and their families, the lines between the personal and the professional blur and we connect on a level that goes beyond the clinical. So please take a moment today to send some love, some strength, and some positive thoughts their way. I can't give her a name for you as confidentiality prohibits that, but I've always called her "my girl." So please say a prayer for my girl!

Ringing in the New Year Quietly and Locally....Just the Way I Like!

I have the advantage of ringing in each New Year by celebrating another year of marriage with the love of my life. This year we opted for a quiet dinner at a local restaurant. We were able to walk to dinner--even better--and although the New Year was ushered in by the first snow of the season, we still walked the short distance. I love our neighborhood. It has that old neighborhood feel of my childhood where everybody knows each other, at least by sight, and we support the local businesses.

That's us....well, from Halloween a couple of years ago, but we haven't changed that much! We spent last night at a local restaurant in the shops above, and then returned to Home Sweet Home to sit by the fire as we ended our day. Exactly the anniversary we both wanted! Happy New Year, and may 2013 bring you and yours many blessings!

A Recap of the Last Few Months......

It's been a long time since I've been here.....almost six months! It's hard to believe I've neglected writting something for that long, being the "wordy" person that I am! I guess I should update 2012 before moving on to 2013......I last posted in July, so I'll start with August activities!

August found me on my way to College Station, Texas to move my daughter, Cait, into her apartment before starting her Master's program at Texas A&M. She is enrolled in the Bush Business School (not sure why it's called the business school since her major isn't in business, but....) The Business School is a nice area of campus and there is a large pond next to the school where George (HW) fishes and Barbara walks the dogs.

Our trip to Texas was rather a nightmare. We started out with the idea of staying overnight somewhere in Oklahoma before driving the rest of the way, but we weren't aware that all the hotels are full of people who work on the oil rigs. So.....we drove for hours (my husband was in a fabulous mood since he had worked all day before we set out on this journey!) We finally found a small hotel with one room left and we checked in at 3 a.m. deciding we would sleep until we woke up and then drive the rest of the way.

The highlight of the trip was the trailer we were pulling started falling apart little by little along the way! It was one of my dad's "inventions" that he made from scrap--we looked like Sanford and Son traveling down the highway! For those of you too young to know what that reference is, keep quiet! We did finally make it, though, and the work of moving began. Thankfully Cait, who had been there a few days before us, found a few able-bodied classmates who were willing to help with the heavy stuff....and all they asked in return was dinner and a few beers!

And you know it's home when the dog goes to sleep!

September found me working on Developmental Care modules from the National Association of Neonatal Nurses (NANN) in preparation to take their Developmental Care Specialist test. I also finally took the plunge and applied for grad school--never too late to learn, right?!? This gave me no small measure of anxiety, but I was accepted and will begin in January.

In October Steve and I headed for Palm Springs for the NANN conference where I was presenting a poster and a podium presentation! The poster was my backup plan for when my podium presentation wasn't accepted, but instead I was accepted for both. Sigh.....Another anxiety producing event! It went well, though, and it was a great experience!

I was home for a week after Palm Springs and then headed back to Rwanda for 12 days! It was an eventful trip.....first time I've ever had an issue with one of the delegation team, so that was an unpleasant experience (and that's all I'll say about that) I also had pneumonia for most of the trip, but in typical NICU nurse fashion, I powered on.....continued to train healthcare workers and students in the Helping Babies Breathe Program!

Here are some photos from our trip:

And as 2012 draws to a close....we find out the Mayans were wrong and the world goes on! Merry Christmas from my family to yours (through the eyes of the youngest members of the Geier family):

Meltdowns, Countdowns, and "Throw-downs"

It's been a busy month....both at the paying job and at One Good Deed. We've had a high census at the paying job, and also some pretty high acuity patients (that's really sick babies in layman's terms!). I've also had a capstone student with me, so besides having to behave myself :-) I've had to put my "teaching hat" on and explain a lot of what we do. All good things, but I come home pretty tired. In fact, I don't always make it home before the tired hits! A case in point was last week when I literally "dozed off" in mid-sentence while giving change of shift report!

Come on, haven't you had times when you thought it would feel really good to just close your eyes for a second? Well, that thought apparently crossed my mind and went straight to my eyes because they closed for just a few seconds. Unfortunately, I was in mid-sentence.....It was just a few seconds, but I remember thinking "something isn't quite right here" and looked up to see the on-coming nurse looking at me with a puzzled expression. What the hell, might as well be honest--there's no graceful way to come out of that one, so I said, "Oh I am so sorry. I think I almost dozed off there for a second--or, OMG was it more?!?" She burst out laughing and said it was like five seconds, tops (thank God!) and we went on. Funny, yes. Embarrassing, ABSOLUTELY! But I at least have finally admitted to myself that something has got to give and I must take care of myself and get more sleep!

Humiliating story aside, I have been having a few meltdowns lately. Things are happening very fast right now where One Good Deed is concerned....good things, but the pace is a lot when you are also trying to juggle a full-time night shift job. I mention the night shift part because it is, I think, harder to organize a busy life while trying to get enough sleep during the day. Our bodies were not meant to sleep during the daylight hours and it's hard when other tasks keep rearing their heads and demanding attention! Which brings me to the "countdown" part of this blog (and will hopefully explain the previous whining and meltdown part!)

The countdown is on for several things....namely the NANN Conference which is coming up in October and which I have to prepare both a poster presentation (not too stressful as it is almost done) and a podium presentation (meltdown!) which is started, but I'm not satisfied with the way it's going yet. I say yet because I am certain it will get there. It will, right?!?

The other countdown has to do with our upcoming trip to Rwanda in November to continue our training in the Helping Babies Breathe Program. This generally isn't too stressful for me because it is what I love, but.....a lot has been going on in the past few weeks and things have grown exponentially in this arena. My head is spinning as I try to keep up with all of the necessary work this requires while also, you know, trying to work! I just keep reminding myself that this journey I'm on was put before me for a reason, and it is the path I have chosen because I know it is right! Anyway....I plug on. And for all of the well-meaning people in my life who are giving advice like "you should cut your hours at the paying job." I would love to be able to do that.....but I have to have an income, and besides that, I love my job! And to those who say I should slow down--again, would love to, but I didn't set this pace--I just have to keep up! However, I do try to take a little time to get away from it all every so often--especially when the meltdowns seem to come one after the other--so I don't make the lives of those around me too terribly miserable! (And, yes, I am aware that a meltdown slipped into the countdown part here!)

That Someone (God) I refer to also helps out by intervening in ways that are interesting although somewhat frustrating--like the past few days when we stole away to the lake for a little quiet time before heading back into the fray. I agree to these mini vacations because I know I can still keep in touch via internet......unless there is no internet, which is what happened this time! The stress gnawed at me for a bit, but what could I do? I decided it was beyond my control and I might as well just roll with it. Thank goodness for that because I really did need the break! But, today I am back at it and trying to catch up on what I missed the last few days. I also have to remember to schedule a nap today since I am working tonight! Anyway......

On to the "throw-down" part. I think I have mentioned before about Helaina from Eos Visions and her extensive work trying to get Fidele from the Ministry of Health in Rwanda to meet with us and work with us....Well, dear Helaina has since taken a job back in the U.S.--nice job, too, at the State Department--and Katie from Canada has taken her place at Eos. Katie was warned by us all that she had her work cut out for her where Fidele is concerned. And God bless her, she took that challenge in stride and made great headway for us! Not only did Fidele make an appointment with Katie, but he kept the appointment, AND he listened and contributed to future plans for the Helping Babies Breathe training in Rwanda, AND (drum roll, please!), he said we needed to draft an MOU (memorandum of understanding--aka contract) with the Ministry from which to work on future trainings! Bravo, Katie, Bravo! Well played, indeed! She threw down the gauntlet and Fidele picked it up and ran with it! This, my friends, is HUGE!!!! It's also things like this that keep happening for us that make all the meltdowns worth it!

So.....I apologize for the lengthy blog with no photos to break it up, but I just had to catch you up on the chaos! It is frustrating and trying at times, but it is so very worth it! There are some other things in the works as well, so keep your fingers crossed for me as I continue my muzungu journey! But for now, I've gotta take a nap!