I never really pictured myself doing what I'm doing these days. When I went off to nursing school I figured it would be a good job until I got the Mrs. degree and settled down somewhere behind that white picket fence in Anytown, Suburbia. I'd have the obligatory 2.5 kids, a dog, and some kind of "mom" car for transporting them all around in. It kind of happened. I did get the Mrs. degree, although it cost me about $25,000 to dump it 16 years later.....I stopped at 2 kids because I thought a half a kid was kind of weird, even for me. As for the dog, well, we've had an assortment of dogs, cats, a rabbit, several goldfish (God rest their souls), and probably some other critters my kids kept to themselves. Sigh. So, after I disposed of the Mrs. I went back to the BSN.
Let's face it folks, the BSN paid the bills. Don't get me wrong, I really love my job, but I never expected to do more than work as a staff nurse in a hospital taking care of premies. Then one day I got the bright idea to apply for a position as a clinical nurse educator. Unfortunately I didn't read the fine print in the job description. You know, the part where they tell you what the job is really all about. Anyway, I found that the job was really just a glorified party planner--you know, you organized the education for everyone but never got to do any of it! Screw that--I left that job and went on a nursing education delegation to China for a couple of weeks.
China was amazing I have to admit. We went to several hospitals and met with nurses and doctors and learned a little about the way they operate. I say a little because it is, after all, still a rather oppressive government. Anyway, it gave me a good look at another culture, and I realized that I love to travel and meet people from other countries and learn about their lives. (translated: I'm nosy) I came home all excited about doing something like this again. Pretty detailed agenda, I know, but I was planning on fleshing out the itinerary a bit later. As usual, though, life got in the way and I soon found myself immersed in a new job. Back to being a staff nurse in an NICU. I kind of forgot about China, except when someone would ask me about the trip and what it was like, but the initial excitement had worn off and I had pretty well settled into my routine again.
One day I got an invitation in the mail for a public health delegation to Rwanda. I wasn't sure why I got this invitation except for having gone on the trip to China, but I put it aside for awhile. After all, what did I know about public health? I'd been a NICU nurse for more years than are any of your business at that point. I happened to mention it in passing to my dad one day, though, and he said, "Who cares whether you know anything about public health? It's Africa!" True. Besides, I would already be on the trip before they had to find out I wasn't a public health nurse. So.....I signed up.
If you haven't guessed by now, I'm not really a hearts and flowers kind of person. I tend toward the sarcastic and I find humor in most things. That said, I was totally unprepared for the reaction I had to Rwanda. It started on the plane when we were about an hour or so from landing in Kigali. I had been sleeping and when I woke up they were getting ready to serve us yet another unrecognizable dish of mystery meat and rice. People were chatting and feeling free to move about the cabin as the fasten seat belts light was off. I was sitting on the aisle in the middle section and I turned to my right to look out the window. It was getting dark and the sun was setting. The sky outside the plane window was filled with the most brilliant oranges, yellows and reds I had ever seen. It was beautiful.
The plane had grown silent as others noticed the sunset and continued to watch. The oranges and reds suddenly turned into blues and purples and lavendars. It looked like ribbons blowing in the wind, and then the sky was completely black. I watched a few more seconds and started to turn away when I saw a break in the darkness that revealed a red streak the color of the inside of a blood orange. Other breaks began to appear and they were orange, yellow, lavendar and peach. It was amazing, and I realized that tears were streaming down my face. Others on the plane had forgotten about the sunset by now and were eating their dinner--except for two German women who were staring at me and whispering. To this day I'm not sure if it really happened or not. I was on anti-malarial medication and one of the side effects was hallucinations, but whatever happened on that plane, it got my attention.
Throughout that entire trip, I found myself in tears. One of the leaders of the trip spent the majority of his time smirking at me and shaking his head. He finally told me one day, "You're the one. You are soooo coming back to Rwanda!" He was right. He later told me there is one on every trip, and he knew when I couldn't stop crying that I would be the one. At least there was some hope that I wasn't losing my mind. I had had a really strange dream one night while I was there and was beginning to worry about myself. I never did the drug scene in college, so wild dreams/hallucinations were new to me and I wasn't really a fan.
When I left Rwanda that day back in 2008, I knew I would be back. I didn't know when or how, but I knew I had to return to this country.....and so began an extraordinary dream and my muzungu journey.
